Smelly

At one  time a year or so ago I wanted to do an "Ode to Sweat". I know it sounds weird. After lasts night workout it all came back to me. I ran on the treadmill....ok...I walked at a high speed with intervals of running on the treadmill. I was halfway through, raising my speed yet again when I realized my arms were wet and I felt like I had achieved something. Don't get me wrong, I sweat on the bike as well. But for some reason last night running brought back all my memories of what I can do. What I can accomplish. It made me feel like doing it all again today. I need to work on my abs and my core to gain more stamina but it was awesome to go home smelly! :)
 This week I work today and then I am off for the week. My schedule will be a little off. but my goal is to go to gym in morning after the kids go to school so that I don't get lazy as the day progresses. I tried the Tabata method and honestly my hip revolted. I was on muscle relaxers and Ibuprofen for 3 days and so I'm back to my regular hammering at the gym. I ran into a friend at the gym last night that I barely recognized. She has lost 45lbs. She looked incredible! Hopefully Ill be trying out some new workouts with her if we can connect.
 I am on my way to transforming my brain again. I realize I stopped out of fear and frustration. I have a size in mind now. If  I get to that size and want to go further, I will. If not I will be thrilled of what I am doing. I have a difficult time of visualizing myself as thin. I have a difficult time of visualizing my self as pretty. I have a difficult time of visualizing myself as successful. That is what is different now. I know I need to change how I look at myself. These are MY hangups. They stop me from my goals and they stop me from opening myself up to new friendships. I have some incredible friends right now. I would love it if I could be the type to be open and giving to all. That is something that I need to feel worthy of. It will come with determination and SWEAT!