Smelly

At one  time a year or so ago I wanted to do an "Ode to Sweat". I know it sounds weird. After lasts night workout it all came back to me. I ran on the treadmill....ok...I walked at a high speed with intervals of running on the treadmill. I was halfway through, raising my speed yet again when I realized my arms were wet and I felt like I had achieved something. Don't get me wrong, I sweat on the bike as well. But for some reason last night running brought back all my memories of what I can do. What I can accomplish. It made me feel like doing it all again today. I need to work on my abs and my core to gain more stamina but it was awesome to go home smelly! :)
 This week I work today and then I am off for the week. My schedule will be a little off. but my goal is to go to gym in morning after the kids go to school so that I don't get lazy as the day progresses. I tried the Tabata method and honestly my hip revolted. I was on muscle relaxers and Ibuprofen for 3 days and so I'm back to my regular hammering at the gym. I ran into a friend at the gym last night that I barely recognized. She has lost 45lbs. She looked incredible! Hopefully Ill be trying out some new workouts with her if we can connect.
 I am on my way to transforming my brain again. I realize I stopped out of fear and frustration. I have a size in mind now. If  I get to that size and want to go further, I will. If not I will be thrilled of what I am doing. I have a difficult time of visualizing myself as thin. I have a difficult time of visualizing my self as pretty. I have a difficult time of visualizing myself as successful. That is what is different now. I know I need to change how I look at myself. These are MY hangups. They stop me from my goals and they stop me from opening myself up to new friendships. I have some incredible friends right now. I would love it if I could be the type to be open and giving to all. That is something that I need to feel worthy of. It will come with determination and SWEAT!

Crap..... :(

Its my own doing. You think 10lbs doesn't make a huge difference, you convince yourself that you look just fine. Ya your clothes might feel a little uncomfortable and yup you know that you have slacked and maybe you should kick your peaches....but then I looked at some pictures from last year and I discovered denial sucks. (My new camera had a date change, which forced me to go back and retrieve some pictures.) I know there are worse things than my face. Ive noticed changes in my body and especially my belly, but this picture was definitely noticeable. The top one knocked me upside the head, said " Hey stupid!" You felt better 10lbs ago....get with the program. Suck it up and drop the habits that are stopping change.  I really don't like what has happened here and I'm glad I went back and looked. Ive started looking at the scale as well and it is going down finally. I have gotten stuck on the bike( I tore up my back, and it is healing) so I need to break the habit and get on the treadmill a little and the elliptical. My boss bought me a Kindle Fire so I love reading on the bike. I'm up to a straight 4 with a slight resistance to 5 on the bike. I don't want to get stuck so I'm going to change it up again tomorrow. I did not go to gym as scheduled today(it was closed), however we did get some time out in the snow.  Normally I would say our snow is not much of a workout....we have 9 inches...pretty cool!

 Anyhow I guess another reality check is in order! And Beth, I am looking at the Spartan....or some other run in June.

Not this year

Each year in January I try to do a slide show. I get sentimental about what I have done, where I have come from and the work that I am proud of. 2011 was a difficult year for me. I didn't really care about much and because of that I dont have very many pictures of me and no progress to show. I love my family and love what we are doing here, however I just realized that the last time I really took a lot of pictures was in October. :(
 Im not a fan of New Year resolutions. Im not really sure what a date does for people. Maybe they view it as a fresh start...whatever works for them. I do know that a year can make or break you, and while Im not broken, I did forget some of the fundamentals. Taking care of me, makes me more available to others. Taking time for me, frees up more time for others. And feeling good about myself, feeling proud of who I am allows me to open myself up to help and friendship.
 Im sure at some point this year Ill do a slide show. Hopefully it wont be about weight loss...it will be about living!