Recap

No, I haven't been lazy about posting. My year old lap top's hard drive crashed as I was editing first day of school pictures. I lost all of the ones I had of that day, and the week before. I had loaded a few to face book, so that is what I have to share. Good new is that my laptop had one more week of warranty left! So now I am up and running....Ok I am lazy and blogging has been low on my priority list(Just realized I hadn't posted since July)
Above is the first day of school. Audrey was thrilled, Spencer not so much. My middle schooler has been feeling the pressure. They went to school for about 6 days and then got two weeks off for the teachers to strike. They are in as of last Friday, and I'm really hoping we can get back into a routine!

Fair day was a blast. Audrey and Ava got a Dizzy pass and had a great time together. Spencer went a little before us with a friend and his family to ride the Big rides, his family went home and the boys went on a few rides with Audrey. She loves these boys!

Ok, maybe love is too strong a word. :) She loves to torment and be tormented, by the boys.

Audrey and Spencer have new hobbies. Auntie got Spencer an skateboard, and papa got Audrey a scooter. They are loving life. I will have to say, their personalities have shown with these activities. Audrey is zooming down hills (of course, without the breaks) and Spencer is taking his time and learning.
I'll upload pictures later today. Sorry it has been so long!

Week 3

So as plans go, I'm still ok. I have gotten the outside stuff going, but getting to the gym has proven difficult. I definitely need it though, because yesterday when I ran my upper thigh down to my knee on my left leg are pretty sore . I expect soreness...but this is a little more. I'm thinking I need a little bit more of a warm up before the running, and a little more leg strength and core strength built up. I have a run that I like to see my progress and see how far I can get. Yesterday I was in the zone, and got the furthest yet while running without a lot of tiredness and controlled breathing. The problem is I just jumped right in, I've gotta warm up a little I think.
I will run to the gym today. I know it is not in the schedule, however, I didn't make it yesterday and I really need four days in this week. I'm really gonna focus on my arms. I know that isn't as important as legs and core, but they really bug me. I look at them sometimes and wonder if I've ruined them for good. They never seem to visibly shrink. I know that they are getting smaller.....just not fast enough!
 This week: Ive got my workout schedule. I am also going to make it a goal to have a vegetable with every dinner. This is tough for me, I know it shouldn't be after all this time, but it is. I have a war with veggies. Not really knowing why. Maybe that would be a good thing to figure out. I am also limiting my sugar again. Not really sure why that is an issue still either, but it is my addiction. My comfort. So this week I will remind myself of my goals and push ahead through two of these last eating barriers. They push me to levels of failure I haven't known now for several years. They hold me back from what I want most... rephrase...I hold myself back from what I want most. Its time to push back!

Planning

 I was thinking yesterday about what change means. I know so many people who fight it. I am in the middle. I don't like change, however it is necessary to progress. Change does some amazing things, but also can blockade progress if you let it. I think I have let it. My work schedule changed right about the time that I started taking myself seriously again. I work 7-4 Monday through Thursday now. I love the schedule. I'm home by 4:30 now and able  to be with the kids more in the afternoon. The hangup is that I'm supposed to come home and then leave again to go for a run, or bike ride, or walk and 4-5 days a workout at the gym. However, I wake up at 5am to get ready for work, by the time I'm home from work I'm exhausted especially by Wednesday evening. I was thinking of waking up earlier at 4:30 and running in the morning, however it is still dark and well....maybe not so smart. So what to do?
 I blog for a lot of reasons. I blog so I can keep up with family and friends, I blog to see progress, and I blog to work things out in my head. I see it in black and white and figure out my difficulties. Sometimes I realize I'm just being a whiner, sometimes it is and honest issue and sometimes I'm just making excuses for myself. Sometimes I'm not really sure what it is until I read it later. This time its a combination. I have a legitimate problem, however I am letting it get out of control myself.
 Here is my plan. I am putting it here for accountability. Mon, Tues, run after work. Wed gym for toning, Thurs off day(meeting) Friday(pre Ava), Sat ( preWW) and Sun morning run and early evening gym. Seems like a good plan. Now to keep myself accountable!...off to work!

Here I go....

Thank you for registering for Run Wild 5k Run

Saturday October 8th. I am running. I had a choice between 8k and 5k. I went with the 5k because I really want to complete it and feel like I gave it all I could. I dont want to walk it at all so I really want to run and enjoy the running part. That means not overwhelming myself.  I know I am capable of more, but truthfully I just want to get going again.
If anyone wants to join me. Just register....dont think just do and start running!

A few of my favorite foods....

As you may know. Fruits and vegetables are not what I reach for when I want something. I'm not really sure as to why that is. I'm pretty sure as kids, they were provided. The truth is that my sweet tooth has always gotten in the way. So this week I am gonna focus on finding a few more of my favorites. But until I do, these are my staples. The peppers are actually a newbie. I'm not a huge fan of the green peppers but, I don't need to like them all right. Any suggestions on some new ones to try? Let me know!

12 Weeks

12 week project started this week. What is my 12 week project? At the end there is a goal, I'll share later. So as you probably have surmised, by the lack of posts, I am still struggling. Poor choices, poor weather and and inability to decide what I want to do. I have been fighting and fighting with myself about what is going on and what I need to change. Well I came up with three things.
1. I need to to things differently. What do I mean by that? First off I need to cool my heals and relax a little about life. I cant control others, I cant always control my situation and I cant control what other people do and choices that they make. I don't think of myself as a controlling person. I do however want to fix things. Yup, Im a fixer. I want my family to talk to each other. I want my friends and family to be happy all the time. I want to be there for people if they need me. I try, but than I get sad when they don't want to fix things. So Im gonna try to fix less things.
2. Im gonna do some things the same. I read my own blog the other day, and realize I got away from what I was doing. I was proud of my accomplishments and then I got mopey. Woe is me. So Im getting back to the basics and focusing more on goals and less on mopeyness (is that a word?) Better eating, more exercise pictures and less.. " I dont know what to do"....I do know what to do. I chose to do differently.
3. Im gonna set new goals. Some fitness, some physical and some mental.  When I look at the picture below, I realize what exercise does. I am not heavier than I was for my half, i am actually the same. However, I am flabbier and unhappy with my appearance. So my goal at the gym is to have wobbly legs and arms that are heavy. My goal for home is to leave the sugar alone and find other things to do to fill in the sugar hole. Im gonna take better care of my skin and nails (yes one more year till 40). And Im gonna make my feelings important again.
My 12 week project has started. At the end of 12 weeks I will be doing a run. I wanted to be doing it in California with my Brother (no not the marathon, but 5k), but do to money, and the lack of it. I will have to do in the rain here in wonderful Washington. The NW Trek run. Is in my future. I will be registering next
 payday, so here I go. running, talking and sharing progress.

Snake Lake Park

I think we finally hit above 75degrees yesterday. Ava spent the night with us on Friday so on Saturday I promised we would go to the park. Ava has been here multiple times. She was eager to show Spencer and Audrey around her stomping grounds. She was an excellent navigator! Audrey taught her a few climbing tricks and Spencer enjoyed some climbing as well!