School Party

We had company this weekend. Audrey had Ella spend the night and Spencer had Lucas spend the night. We had a mini back to school party. Lucas really likes to skateboard so I pulled out my old board and Spence gave it a try. Looks like it is a permanent activity at our house. Audrey and Ella are both starting school this Thursday so we did a little peeking through the windows into the classrooms and played the day away. The kids played games and opened presents (thanks Auntie) and finally went to bed about 10:30 went to sleep who knows. We had a great time!

Mid week

Ok just checking in to stay focused. I was talking to a friend earlier in the week who is also doing WW and she had some great ideas as well. She is amazing at tracking. The truth is I track very well Monday through Friday, so I am going to add to my goal this week and track  on my weekend as well.
 As for my other goals they are doing good. I went to the gym and worked out with a friend. Last night I took the kids on a bike ride to the library and back. My kids love to ride! I added extra weight with the backpack and all the books. The eating dinner at the table together has not happened. Shannon was home yesterday so he made them a late lunch. And on Monday I went to the gym and came home and fed them dinner. I did not eat as it was after 7. I should have sat at the table. We are going to a friends house for dinner tonight so we will for sure :).
 So about my americanos....I made a mocha on Monday and went to Starbucks on my way to work and Bought an americano(Ive never really made one yet) It was was ok. Refreshing...but kind of boring. I made my mocha and drank that too. After drinking the americano it was kind of ....thick. Not so tasty. So yesterday still being nervous to make an americano I made a latte instead. That was yummy! Guess I definatly do not need the chocolate. I know I am being stubborn about this, so right now I am going to put on my makeup...buck up and try something different. (I know pretty crazy right )

A shout out to my nieces both starting back at school today. Have a fun day!

And to my nephew who gets some quiet time with his mom! Have fun!

Week by Week

So here is my plan of attack. Im thinking I know what my long term goals are. I want to be healthy and 40 (yes still way far away). I want to be at a normal BMI which will put my weight at 135-140. I want to achieve lifetime at WW, and most of all I want to make decisions on a regular daily basis that not only put me at my goal.....but keep me there. I have always believed that this is a lifestyle for me. This is my life now....if I say I need to get to 135 and then Im done...I would be making a terrible mistake. There is no end in site for me. Soundpathetic??? Im ok with that. I know me and if I say at 135 Im done I will eat until Im back at a very unhealthy weight. I know it is not all about the scale. The absolute end goal is to be healthy so I can live a long life free of medication and heartache for me and my children. I dont want my children to have to ever have to do this kind of journey.
 The reason for this post is that I think I need to set up smaller weekly goals to achieve my big ones. When I first started losing weight I could take things day by day. Now small mistakes lead to no success. So I am going to try to post weekly....even maybe daily so I can figure out what is going on in my head. My goals for this week consist of  working out today, Monday and Wednesday Strength training. Cardio on all days except for Thursday. I want to eat dinner with my family at the table Monday - Thursday, which will involve planning meals so that I can eat, clean up and get to the gym before I need to come home and put them to bed. I also plan on achieving 5 servings of vegetables and fruits a day all week. ( I have been averaging 4 a day so one more should not be out of reach.) If anyone has ideas to get that serving in I would love to hear. I am going to try something that might kill me as well.........ready......Im going to cut my mochas into Americanos. Mochas are 4pts a day americanos are 1. If you know me well you know this might be the biggest sacrifice I have made thus far. A girl in the Pacific NW cutting back on coffee is unthinkable. :0 Ok...I know drama. Here is the thing, I have my own espresso machine and make a pretty good mocha...so this will be hard for me. I have never made and americano...so we will see how things go. I think ultimately this will help me stay within my points target a little better.
 My reward this week will be a movie on my own. I have not left the family for quiet time in a while so maybe I will sneak away for a couple hours of quiet. We have to prepare for school as well so it will be a busy week. But I plan on referring to this post when I get a little off track. I will check in with my progress as well so that I can have a little better accountability to myself.

August

Along with everday life we have had some family time. (Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad) Some zoo time. ( Baby Tigers are out and playing) and Slip and Slide at the Willer House! We have had a couple busy weeks. Not a whole lot going on right now except for School shopping...work...play....zoo....movies....yard work......... you know how it goes! :)

Too long

 Yup, It has been a while. I have let life suck me in and spit me out again. Why? Because sometimes it is a necessity...sometimes it is unavoidable....sometimes life just gets stupid.
 Well Im back and I have been thinking about my last post and the goals that I set. Beth, you are right I am not very pointed about my goals and how to get there. I have been thinking a lot about my future and what I want...what kind of energy I want to put into life, others, family and myself. I give freely to most people. I want everyone to get along and be happy. Im not the drama type. However, what happens when you give too much? What happens when you focus on everyone else but yourself? You get lost. Im not lost yet....but I could see myself getting there. So I am going to take a few and work on me.
 I dont think I know how to state my goals out in the open. I have them...I state them...but they aren't ???? They don't get me where I need to go. So I am going to try again. My one goal that I have been working on all year is putting myself out there. I am proud of the results. I have new friends and have let people see different parts of who I am. I have allowed people into my life. I dont usually let people in. It feels good. I am a happier person. It has not been easy but has been worthwhile. And even better I have found friends that have goals similar to myself. I have support and encouragement from different sources. I have friends that I can support through their own journey. I am having fun losing weight again.
 I have lost the majority of my weight by myself. I have a lot of support, but that support has ended when it is time to exercise or if mexican has been craved by all. It has been long and has been a lot of hard work. I am proud of what I have done. I think I will be proud of what I finish. I have learned that support comes in many ways. It comes from family living hundreds of miles away, It comes from family living down the street, It comes from a friend texting to see how I am doing, to a husband who reminds me on a daily basis how beautiful I am. My children, workmates and clothing remind me on a daily basis how far I have come.
 I think that I am going to have to rely on all this help and more to get the remaining 40lbs off.
 My body seems stuck....ok, not my body but my brain. Do I have it in me to do the work that it is going to take to go the remaining distance. Do I have the strength to push through the pain and discomfort to get to my goal and stay there. What do I hope to accomplish? Am I worth the work?
My goal is to lose 45lbs more. To have a normal BMI and to be strong mentally, physically and emotionally. I will not only lose the weight but maintain my weight loss with healthy habits and by allowing myself to enjoy my life. How will I get there?
 I will use the strength I have found in myself to push myself harder. I will remember my achievements and focus more on them than my failures. I will love freely and give of myself to others. I will continue celebrate the small accomplishments along with the big.  And most of all I will not let future work cause me to slow down, I will not fear the future.
( I will get down to the nitty gritty on my goals next post. I have some thoughts but this has already gotten long winded. One of my goals is to post more often. My blog might be changing soon. I have reached 60lbs by work and determination, I will reach the next 40 with the same and a little bit more....)

My Grandpa

I will always remember the love of my Grandpa. He will be missed. I wish at times like these I wish I could really write. I wish I could put in writing the love I feel for this man. . I am grateful that I was able to say goodbye. I will miss his strength, his arms crossed across his chest, his smile and most of all his love.
My Grandpa passed away today,,, I will remember most the gleem in his eyes, the space on his lap, and the love in his eyes.

New Goal

So it would seem that I have neglected my goals for the future.  The lose 10lbs in a month and hubbie buys me a new computer was not a success. Good thing since we could not afford a new laptop this month anyhow. I have been neglecting myself and my goals for a while now. My focus has not been where it needs to be. So I am going to make a new goal this month. Rather than focusing on the scale I am going to focus on my health. My BMI right now is 32.0 . I started off about 49.0 so this is a drastic improvement. However I am still in the obese category. My next goal is to get out of the obese and into the overweight group. Saying it that way does not sound so great. However after that is met I will upgrade a tad bit. I used to be almost 50percent body fat..... crazy! Again I wish I was further along, but I have picked up a new weight loss  partner along the way. I am so excited to see her progress. She has mentally pushed me to a new level! I have to say, having a friend doing this with me has been motivating and has helped me reevaluate my progress and goals.
 One more thing. I have officially stepped into size 12 jeans! Yeaaaaa! I don't always understand how even though the scale stays the same how I change sizes! But I feel encouraged to keep going and eventually the scale will catch up too!
Onward and Downward!