Me

So Ive been reflecting about my life a lot lately. The pictures below help in a lot of ways. I can see from where I came, I see what changes happen when I exercise and I see what happens when I let life get in the way of me doing what I want to do. Last year was not my finest, I know Ive said that before. I gave myself permission to not be my best...why? How does not giving yourself your best ever help. Im wondering at what point it helped me to not take care of me and my needs. How did it help my family?  The thing is that stress makes me kind of self centered, I focus on the headaches, the stomach aches, the food. I dont want to move. I want to sit on my couch and watch other peoples drama, because it is so much worse than my own. I get cranky and to be honest Im not the best wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend that I can be. All those things matter, but being Melissa matters more. I have a friend, she has been one of my closest friends for years. I have been asking her lately what she has done to take care of her..... I need to start asking the same question of myself. When did it become ok to not take care of me? 
 I went to the gym last night, and do you know what? I did not have butterflies in my belly when I left. I felt like doing things around the house. I felt like attacking the budget (ok my biggest stress, and one I am still avoiding....baby steps right) I smiled a whole lot more. Why is it you forget what exercise does? Why is it that you dont remember that taking care of your needs is as important as taking care of everyonelse. I lost that. I know that when I feel good I am a better wife, mother,daughter, sister, friend. I have more to give. I am stronger and able to carry stress and other peoples needs better. I am more focused. I dont allow things to bother me. I solve problems better. I am a better me. Its not because of how I look (although that is pretty cool too) Its about how I feel. Its about being in control of something in my life when right now there is so much out of my control.
 I need my family and friends, but I live in here. I have to feel what I feel, no one else does. So I am going to keep working out. I am going to leave the stress with Jehovah and at the gym, because as much as my family and friends want to help me and want me to feel good. I need to do this for myself. I need to want to feel good for myself!
I write it here, because I am my biggest reader. I see the feelings and emotions and know what was motivating to me to keep me going. My own little therapy session. :)